do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
