Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
