trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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