Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
