A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
