Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
