If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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