Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
