I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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