So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
