"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize