Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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