girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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