I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
