Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
