dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
