Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.

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  (503): She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true. http://tfl.nu/uoge
  Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (1550) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery

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  (254): When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery http://tfl.nu/move
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?

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  (503): do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice? http://tfl.nu/c0bh
  Replies (14) Good night (519) Bad night (4894) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?

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  (410): I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this? http://tfl.nu/lrwi
  Replies (27) Good night (403) Bad night (4450) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.

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  (434): the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit. http://tfl.nu/vjaf
  Replies (36) Good night (4748) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?

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  (775): Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy? http://tfl.nu/1eeo
  Replies (33) Good night (4735) Bad night (2112) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

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  (203): so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same http://tfl.nu/kiu0
  Replies (19) Good night (5934) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  it's like russian roulette but with a penis

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  (480): it's like russian roulette but with a penis http://tfl.nu/nnes
  Replies (12) Good night (2442) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.

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  (540): I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that. http://tfl.nu/0566
  Replies (10) Good night (1525) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.

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  (716): OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night. http://tfl.nu/sz8o
  Replies (9) Good night (1514) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.

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  (580): the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that. http://tfl.nu/mchf
  Replies (14) Good night (2062) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.

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  (205): It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots. http://tfl.nu/unba
  Replies (4) Good night (1034) Bad night (594) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.

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  (704): Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood. http://tfl.nu/f31d
  Replies (3) Good night (385) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.

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  (270): You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/j0k2
  Replies (16) Good night (1551) Bad night (288) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.

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  (989): I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story. http://tfl.nu/i8j1
  Replies (1) Good night (739) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt

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