Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off? http://tfl.nu/hp8b
  Replies (19) Good night (595) Bad night (3982)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen http://tfl.nu/2b2i
  Replies (472) Good night (4134) Bad night (6557)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time". http://tfl.nu/gojq
  Replies (62) Good night (1142) Bad night (9098)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation? http://tfl.nu/6nb1
  Replies (16) Good night (7125) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico. http://tfl.nu/ms4f
  Replies (8) Good night (5035) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this. http://tfl.nu/ok35
  Replies (20) Good night (6432) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there. http://tfl.nu/x808
  Replies (4) Good night (2626) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself. (616): The wine tasting is just for charity anyways... http://tfl.nu/d1ju
  Replies (3) Good night (2858) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys.... http://tfl.nu/ljba
  Replies (6) Good night (2967) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being... http://tfl.nu/xmjx
  Replies (11) Good night (3236) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up http://tfl.nu/hzs8
  Replies (10) Good night (2670) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere. http://tfl.nu/qua7
  Replies (3) Good night (1118) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever. http://tfl.nu/yvee
  Replies (12) Good night (3125) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage.... http://tfl.nu/5in8
  Replies (2) Good night (803) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today. http://tfl.nu/xjgq
  Replies (4) Good night (472) Bad night (1156)

Randomize