Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We need to get me chipped asap