he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
