Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
