id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize