its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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