Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
