I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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