the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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