Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
