She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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