My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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