i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
