Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
