did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
