Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
