I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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