I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
