then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
