this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
