Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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