she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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