It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
did i just pee glitter
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
