im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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