Christians are straight up FREAKS
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I need a beard to bite.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
