Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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