So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
