so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
third nipple confirmed
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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