Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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