dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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