im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
