Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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