do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he fucked my hip out of place.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
