is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
