I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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