Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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