I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
