ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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