PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
