names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
