absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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