he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
