Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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