I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You are a genius and a whore.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
