Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
