that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
